September 16, 2011

chewings

I sms-ed a friend this morning. I have not been in touch with her for a long while. The last time we met was probably more than a year ago. This morning, I saw someone who looks like her from behind when I took a stroll through Bishan Park to get home. I thought to send her a 'hi'.

We exchanged a few sms-es and she made a presumption that I must be earning a lot of money doing what I'm doing now, with 2 'portfolios' of tutoring and therapy-work. I replied with the facts - it depends on my schedule, not as much as most people presume, and certainly with no employee benefits - that people often neglect to consider when they relate self-employment (especially tutor) to income level. She did not reply after that, and I was not surprised. The last few times we chatted over smses, they all ended on my 'I-don't-earn-as-much-as-you-think-I-do' note.

In our society today, how easy and often it is that people associate our level of happiness and freedom with our paychecks. All of us are guilty of this, some more than others. Not everything is about money; money should not be everything. Money is important, I am not saying it is not. However, it is only important in so far as to what you can do with it. It can be a means to getting the things or services that can bring you happiness, but it can't buy you happiness per se. We all know happiness to be directly related to freedom, but few of us appreciate that freedom is also a function of happiness. And since happiness can't be bought with money, then perhaps, freedom is really not too much about money. Or the obligations you need to fulfill to earn that money.

On Wednesday, Fr Garcia wrapped up his very engaging and enlightening sharing on morality and ethics, which all converge to our idea of happiness and human goodness. So many ideas and concepts were presented for us to chew on, that Emman and I are still digesting them, one bite at a time. But a few things stuck for now:
- the right or wrong of an act is more than the sum of its consequences; it is a matter of what and how it changes the person
- our decision to act or not is based on our mind, will and emotions
- the purpose of an action and the purpose of our lives are inter-connected
- the 3 ethical cornerstones of making choices are the goal, intentions of an act and circumstances under which an act is committed
- evil does not come from anything or anyone, but is the absence of goodness
- our inclinations, choices and character interact closely to make us more or less human (but never as human as Jesus)
- the way to be better is to cultivate our human virtues in accordance to moral principles (here is where the ten commandments come in)
- positive principles bind prudentially; negative principles bind absolutely (this is 'chim', Fr Garcia said... but clever me understood! haha)
- colugos are leaves-eating flying lemurs that can be found in Singapore reservoirs and will die if you feed them bananas or teach them to swim... and are cuter than some men
emmanuel> this paragraph is specially tailored for you

Going back to the friend...
Admittedly, I'm slightly disappointed that my bank account is the only area she cares to ask about me. Instead of feeling like a friend, I feel like a yardstick. A yardstick for her to measure her income against. When the only thing two persons can have a chat about is their income levels, their relationship must be pretty superficial. Don't you agree?

Well, it could have been better. Perhaps the next time, I should just let her think what she thinks. After all, it does not matter to me anymore.

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 10:15